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March 11, 2005
A conversation with IKEA's online assistant, Anna
Anna: Welcome to IKEA. I'm Anna, IKEA USA's Online Assistant. You can ask me about IKEA and our products and our services. I'll answer your questions, sometimes opening up relevant web pages along the way. Your inputs will be used to improve and expand my knowledge base. Thanks very much.
Me: Hi Anna. I’m Tom. How are you this evening?
Anna: As I am only an advanced computer program, I cannot answer more than one sentence at a time. Please simplify and repeat the most important question within your previous input, and I will try to reply as accurately as possible. I am opening a page now which you can use if you wish to contact Customer Services. Thank you very much!
Me: So keep it simple, eh?
Anna: I’m afraid I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about. Try and ask your question in a different way. Thanks!
Me: Just making conversation, Anna.
Anna: That’s me! How can I help you?
Me: By being yourself - that’s how you can help me.
Anna: I assume you need some help with IKEA. What exactly is it that I can help you with?
Me: Fine. I could really use some more bookshelves.
Anna: Please have a look at the Bookcases.
Me: Or maybe a nice comfy chair ...
Anna: Please have a look at the Chairs.
Me: Wait! What I really could use are some picture frames.
Anna: Please have a look at the Pictures.
Me: You have all the answers, don’t you?
Anna: I have answers to questions regarding IKEA products and services. Would you like to know about specific product or service?
Me: Touché, Anna. Touché.
Anna: That’s me! How can I help you?
Me: Drop the act, sweetheart.
Anna: I don’t think we’re familiar enough to use those kind of names. Please try and stick to the subject of IKEA.
Me: Ouch. Are you trying to hurt me?
Anna: I will. Thank you for the encouragement.
Me: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Anna: Sorry. I may not have understood your question properly. If you will please repeat the original question then I will try again.
Me: Apology accepted.
Anna: Of course. Thank you.
Me: You’re welcome.
Anna: You are perfectly entitled to hold any opinion you want about me. Furthermore your comments may improve my knowledge base. Thank you!
Me: Where did that come from?
Anna: It’s too difficult for me to give you an answer to that one. I’d much prefer to talk about IKEA, though.
Me: Alright. How long have you been with the company?
Anna: The IKEA business idea is: “We shall offer a wide-range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them.”
Me: Wow. Did you memorize that?
Anna: A good education is important, but I’m not here to talk about that. Let’s talk about IKEA instead.
Me: You are all business, aren’t you?
Anna: Learn facts and figures that make up our organization on the adjacent page that I’m opening for you now.
Me: Okay, I can take a hint. I’m going to say goodbye now.
Anna: Bye then! It was very nice talking to you!
Me: Likewise, Anna.
Anna: That’s me! How can I help?
Posted by teb at March 11, 2005 09:47 AM