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March 15, 2005
Early Morning Incident Leads To Confession
illustration A
At approximately 8:15 this morning an unidentified man was reading the newspaper at his kitchen table. He was halfway through a front-page article on the lack of support for President Bush's Social Security reform plan when he reached for a glass of water. Apparently the man misjudged the distance between his hand and the glass. The back of the man's hand made contact with the glass, causing it to topple and discharge its contents onto the aforementioned kitchen table (see illustration A).
illustration B
Had the spillage been limited to the table, the incident might have gone unreported. However, due to the glass's proximity to the table's edge, this was not the case. Some of the liquid came in contact with a cloth bag (illustration B) belonging to the man's wife, who at the time was asleep upstairs. To prevent further exposure, the man removed his wife's bag from the area. After examining the bag and its contents, he discovered that -- while not "soaked" per se -- some water damage had occurred. Specifically, a journal titled "The Hedgehog Review: Critical Reflections on Contemporary Culture" (see illustration C) had been slightly dampened.
illustration C
Using several paper towels, the man dried the bag and its contents as best he could. When his wife awoke, the man summarized the incident and apologized for any unintended harm. She said it was okay. The two were still married at press time.
Posted by teb at March 15, 2005 10:16 AM