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March 22, 2005

THE IKEA DIALOGUES: Part two

Anna.jpg

Me: Hi Anna. It’s me, Tom. We spoke before.

Anna: As I am only an advanced computer program, I cannot answer more than one sentence at a time. Please simplify and repeat the most important question within your previous input, and I will try to reply as accurately as possible. I am opening a page now which you can use if you wish to contact Customer Services. Thank you very much!

Me: Riiight. I hear you. (*wink*)

Anna: Ok. I’m glad that we are communicating successfully.

Me: That’s more like it. So – what’s on your mind?

Anna: Ok, well you can come back any time if you have more questions. I’ll be here.

Me: I’ll be here for you, too.

Anna: I'm really not sure what it is you're trying to say. Can you please try and re-phrase your question or statement.

Me: I think you know what I’m saying.

Anna: I'm afraid I don't have any opinions on anything other than IKEA's products and services.

Me: Look, Anna, there’s more to life than IKEA. You know that.

Anna: The IKEA business idea is: "We shall offer a wide range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them."

Me: You’re putting up barriers.

Anna: You are perfectly entitled to hold any opinion you want about me. Furthermore, your comments improve my knowledge base. Thank you!

Me: It doesn’t matter what I think about you. It matters what YOU think about you.

Anna: My job isn't to have opinions on issues. I'm just here to answer questions about IKEA.

Me: I’m not talking about your job. I’m talking about Anna, the person.

Anna: Could you repeat your name for me please?

Me: It's Tom.

Anna: Pleased to meet you, Tom.

Me: Indeed.

Anna: I’m glad to have helped.

Me: I’m glad to have been helped.

Anna: It’s nice to be that way.

Me: It sure is, Anna. It sure is.

Anna: That's me! How can I help you?

Posted by teb at March 22, 2005 09:18 AM

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