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April 01, 2005
An open letter to the European Union
From the London Times
The cost of trousers, spectacle frames and sweetcorn imported into Europe from America will jump 15 per cent next month, after the latest transatlantic trade dispute erupted yesterday.
Dear Europe,
Okay, so I l know you're mad at us for our “failure to repeal controversial anti-dumping legislation” and that the tariff hike on trousers, spectacle frames and sweet corn is a way of getting back at us. I understand that. But stop for a moment and think: Whom are you really hurting? I'll tell you whom -- near-sighted, trouser-wearing corn eaters, that's whom. And if you think about it, where would the world be without trousers, spectacle frames, and sweet corn? Would Winston Churchill have been able to rally the British public during World War II had he been naked from the waist down? Would James Joyce have been able to compose hundreds of pages of nonsensical prose without his spectacles? And what would we eat with fried chicken if we didn't have sweet corn? Mashed potatoes? Please.
This is an issue that hits especially close to home for me. That's because I am a near-sighted, trouser-wearing corn eater. And while these tariffs will not affect me directly, they will affect my near-sighted, trouser-wearing, corn-eating brethren across the Atlantic. If they must go without trousers, so will I. If they cannot wear their spectacle frames, neither will I. And if they can't eat corn ... well, I feel sorry for them. Because corn is tasty.
Posted by teb at April 1, 2005 11:43 AM