Minor Tweaks

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Did you hear that I have a new TV show?

Dead People: What?

Jennifer Love Hewitt: A TV show. I have one.

Dead People: Okay.

[awkward silence]

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to tell me something?

Dead People: Tell you something?

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Yeah.

Dead People: Like what?

Jennifer Love Hewitt: I don't know. Like something about the future.

Dead People: We don't care about that. We're dead.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Right, but don't you want to pass on a message to the living or something?

Dead People: Not really.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Come on.

Dead People: Why are you bothering us? It's always some hot-but-kinda-spacey chick like yourself or else some creepy little kid trying to contact us. Enough, you know?

Jennifer Love Hewitt: I'm sorry. [starts crying]

Dead People: Wait, now, don't cry.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: I can't help it. My movie career isn't working out and I released an album that flopped and then certain people in the industry won't return my calls and now even the dead won't talk to me. [continues crying]

Dead People: Sweetie, it's okay. You're going to be alright. Look, we'll talk to you. We're talking to you right now. That's pretty cool, right? You're talking to the dead ...

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Yeah, I suppose.

Dead People: That's my girl.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Thanks, dead people. I feel better.

Dead People: Glad to help. Well, we've got to run.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Where are you going?

Dead People: Um ... somewhere.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Can I come too?

Dead People: No.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Can I call you later?

Dead People: Uh yeah, sure.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: What's your cell?

Dead People: Actually, we rarely turn the thing on. Why don't we call you?

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Okay great. Can I have a hug?

Dead People: Um, sure.

[brief, awkward hug]

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Later!

Dead People: Yeah. Bye.