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May 13, 2005
Business advice for the swingset set
From a press release:
Bill Rancic, winner of the first season of NBC's popular reality program The Apprentice, will write a children's book titled Beyond the Lemonade Stand: Starting Small to Make It Big ... Beyond the Lemonade Stand is an advice book for children ages 8-12 who are looking to get ahead.
You may start out mowing the neighbor’s lawn, running a lemonade stand, or delivering newspapers. But eventually you want to parlay that into a role on a popular reality television program, preferably one hosted by a man who has become an icon for financial success despite his frequent bankruptcies. Once on the show, try to outperform other contestants in a series of challenges that have nothing to do with actual business acumen.
After you win, attempt to turn yourself into some kind of guru even though it’s unclear what -- if anything -- you’ve accomplished. Continue to trade on your hollow television victory until even you can’t stand yourself. One day you’ll be chatting up some cute waitress at an Applebee’s in suburban Minneapolis when the following will occur to you: “I am an utter fraud.” Ignore this epiphany as best you can and continue chatting up the waitress. Even if she won’t come back to your hotel room, maybe she’ll at least bring you a free order of buffalo wings with that spicy dipping sauce you like so much.
Posted by teb at May 13, 2005 11:38 AM