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May 12, 2005
The animal alert system
From a Washington Post article in which former Homeland Security secretary Tom Ridge defends the terrorist alert system:
"People focus too much on colors. It could be numbers, it could be animals," Ridge said.
KOALA BEAR (Low): No need to be alarmed. The terrorists appear to be moving slowly and resting a lot -- much like the koala, which can sleep for as many as 20 hours a day.
FERAL CAT (Guarded): There is a general risk of terrorist attacks but nothing to freak out about. Like the feral cat, the terrorists appear to be harmless. But you don't want to pick one up because it might claw your eyes out.
MONKEY (Elevated): Monkeys can do more damage than you think. They're smart and capable of opening doors. Go ahead and be scared.
PIT BULL (High): Once the terrorists' jaws lock, there's no un-locking them. Start running.
PISSED-OFF WOLVERINE (Severe): Yeah, we're screwed. Just pray that it's over quickly.
Posted by teb at May 12, 2005 08:13 AM