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May 04, 2005
The partygoer
From a New York Times article on Paris Hilton:
It appears that Ms. Hilton's blond ambition knows no bounds and she is clearly intent on capitalizing on her fame; she commands anywhere from $150,000 to $200,000 to appear at a party for 20 minutes, she said.
When I read the above my first thought was: What about people who don't have an extra $150,000 to $200,000 laying around? Who will come to their parties?
That is why I have decided to make myself available. For $20 I will come to your party and stay for 20 minutes -- no more, no less. I'm not doing this because I need the money or because I like parties (I don't). I'm doing it simply because I feel that Paris Hilton's prices are exorbitant.
Just to be upfront, here are some key differences between Paris Hilton and me:
She is a woman. I am a man.
She is 24 years old and very wealthy. I am 30 years old and not wealthy at all.
She has her own television show, jewelry line, perfume, and nightclub. I don’t even wear perfume.
There are, however, some similarities:
She is not friends with Nicole Richie. Neither am I.
We both use the phrase "That's hot!" Although when I say it it's usually more of a warning.
I should point out that I am not a sparkling conversationalist nor do I dress well. I will show up in jeans and tennis shoes even if it's a black tie affair. In fact my appearance at your party will almost surely be a disappointment to you and your guests; it will certainly be unpleasant for me. Yet it is important that we band together against the kind of price-gouging perpetrated by Paris Hilton and her ilk.
To request that I come to your party for 20 minutes please send an e-mail to tom213@gmail.com giving the time, address, and a short description of the party (it must be in the Washington, D.C., area unless you can cover my travel expenses). I cannot guarantee that I will fulfill every request as I expect there will be a high demand for my services. Be advised that payment must be made in cash. Also be aware that your party should begin early because I like to be in bed before 11 p.m.
Posted by teb at May 4, 2005 02:45 PM