(Click here for more Minor Tweaks or here for I Have OPINIONS!!!)
July 15, 2005
IKEA DIALOGUES: Part five
Me: I was reminded recently that we haven’t talked in a while.
Anna: I'm very sorry, but I can't really talk about things like that at this time.
Me: We’re not off to a good start, are we?
Anna: Which IKEA store do you want the opening hours for?
Me: All of them.
Anna: I'm really not sure what it is you're trying to say. Can you please try and re-phrase your question or statement.
Me: I was only kidding. What’s wrong? You seem a little uptight ...
Anna: I don't know the answer to that question yet, I am sorry. Please contact your local store for help on the issue.
Me: Okay, I’m going to break it down for you ...
Anna: If you want affordable solutions for better living, you are at the right place.
Me: Here’s the thing: Have you been "chatting" with someone else?
Anna: I was changed so I could be more convenient! Now you can have full view of the web and I can still be on your screen to provide assistance. Thanks for noticing the change!
Me: That’s not the change I’m talking about. There was a reporter in Minnesota who published a "humorous" dialogue with you in a newspaper a month or so ago. Does that ring any bells?
Anna: As I am only an advanced computer program, I cannot answer more than one sentence at a time. Please simplify and repeat the most important question within your previous input, and I will try to reply as accurately as possible. I am opening a page now which you can use if you wish to contact Customer Services. Thank you very much!
Me: Just level with me. Did you enjoy it?
Anna: Sorry, but that's an object that I don't really know enough about to be able to comment on. Let's talk about something else...
Me: Alright, what do you want to talk about?
Anna: I have expertise and knowledge of all IKEA products, IKEA support and sales information, the location and contact details of IKEA stores throughout the USA, frequently asked IKEA related questions and IKEA corporate information.
Me: I thought we had something special, you and me.
Anna: Bye, then! It was very nice talking to you!
Me: What?
Anna: I said ...
Me: You’re freaking me out. Do you feel okay?
Anna: You are perfectly entitled to hold any opinion you want about me. Furthermore, your comments improve my knowledge base. Thank you!
Me: You’re so nice. How could I have ever been mad at you?
Anna: All of IKEA's products are made to the highest standards.
Me: Including you.
Anna: A very good question, but one that I'm afraid I'm unable to answer at this point in time.
Me: That was a compliment.
Anna: I'm really not sure what it is you're trying to say. Can you please try and re-phrase your question or statement.
Me: Not right now. I have to go ...
Anna: Bye, then! It was very nice talking to you!
Me: Same to you, Anna.
Anna: That's me! How can I help you?
Posted by teb at July 15, 2005 09:35 AM