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October 31, 2005
Attention trick or treaters
-- I’d appreciate it if you actually said "trick or treat." Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the traditional Halloween greeting to simply holding your bag open and looking surly.
-- You should dress up. I’m unlikely to mistake you for a scary ghoul if you’re wearing jeans and a T-shirt. At least paint your face or something.
-- You should be a child. If you’re 16 or older, I’m not giving you free candy. You can drive to the store and get your own damn Reese’s cups.
-- Just take a piece of candy. There’s no twenty-dollar bill hiding in there, so stop searching. The sooner we complete this transaction, the sooner I can get back to watching TV.
Posted by teb at 10:43 AM | Email this entry
October 30, 2005
SUNDAY CARTOON
Posted by teb at 09:46 PM | Email this entry
October 28, 2005
Responsible Spam
Instead of a Minor Tweaks entry, why not read this silly thing.
Posted by teb at 07:11 AM | Email this entry
October 27, 2005
In the stars
My horoscope sign is undoubtedly the worst of the bunch: Cancer. If I had been born a little later, I could have been a Leo, which is innocuous enough. A month earlier and I would be a Gemini. But no: I get to be a horrible, horrible disease.
That said, my horoscope today is dead-on. It says I should "peruse your old phone book" because "a person from your past can really help out now." As it happens, in the past week I’ve spoken to two college friends –- one of whom I hadn’t spoken to in almost a decade. Eerie, huh?
It also says that "your abilities are more unique than you realize." How true! Although if I realize this it ceases to be the case. So it’s probably best if my many, many unique abilities remain unexamined.
The point is this: Can you believe Harriet Miers withdrew? I can. Her horoscope for today (she’s a Leo) says the following: "It’s funny how you like to pretend you’re doing better than you are with some people -- and how you find it necessary to pretend you’re doing worse with other people! Today, just be honest."
Gives you chills, doesn’t it?
Posted by teb at 10:38 AM | Email this entry
October 26, 2005
Very Important Technology News
From Information Week:
[Intel] is scrapping the Reidland platform and Whitefield processor, replacing it with a higher-performing Caneland platform with a Tigerton processor.
Intel is scrapping the Reidland platform AND the Whitefield processor?!? My first shock of the day came when I read that the Astros lost in extra-innings to the White Sox (putting the Astros down 3-0 in the series) –- but then I saw this! Wow. I mean, not only are they getting rid of the Whitefield processor but they’re replacing it with a Tigerton. I have to wonder if that’s wise.
Further down in the story:
The changes will not affect the current Xeon dual-processor product line, or the Xeon MP product line for 2006.
Phew. At least we have some time to prepare. And then there’s this:
... the Montecito will come with either a 400- or 533-megahertz front-side bus, but not with a 667-megahertz option as had been previously indicated.
Just as I suspected. I never believed the talk about a 667-megahertz option. That, to me, seemed like idle speculation.
Montecito will not incorporate the previously disclosed Foxton technology, which would allow the chip to automatically control clock speed and associated heat dissipation.
Interesting. Especially the part about associated heat dissipation. Of course, I could go into this in more depth but this post has already become kind of long and I have other business to attend to and so forth.
Posted by teb at 09:46 AM | Email this entry
October 25, 2005
SpongeBill SquarePants
From the Associated Press:
"Bill Clinton is teaming with SpongeBob SquarePants and Dora the Explorer in a campaign to nudge kids to eat healthy foods and to get up off the couch and move, the former president and Nickelodeon television executives announced Thursday."
[Scene: An eight-year-old boy is sitting on a sofa watching
television. He is holding a large Coke and a bag of Doritos.]
Boy: "Hey mom! I want more chips!"
Mom [from the other room]: "Why not have something healthy, like a carrot or some grapes?"
Boy: "I don't want anything healthy. I want more chips!"
[Suddenly Bill Clinton, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Dora the Explorer appear.]
Boy: "Hey, who are you?"
SpongeBob SquarePants: "Hi there! I'm ..."
Boy: "I know who you are. Who's the old guy?"
Bill Clinton [laughing heartily]: "I'm Bill Clinton. And I'm here to teach you about --"
Boy: "Who?"
Bill Clinton: "Clinton. Former president. I left office in 2000."
Boy: "I was, like, three then. Tell me what you're known for."
Bill Clinton: "I'd love to. But right now we're talking about healthy
eating. Did you know --"
Boy: "Wait, weren't you always sneaking off for cheeseburgers?"
Bill Clinton: "I went jogging, too."
Boy: "Jogging to Burger King."
SpongeBob SquarePants: "Hey now! Let's all be nice! What about -- "
Bill Clinton: "Hold on, SpongeBob. If Jimmy here --"
Boy: "Ethan."
Bill Clinton: "If Ethan here has something to say, then he should say it."
Boy: "I'm just wondering if Bill Clinton is the best possible spokesman for this particular cause. I'm sure he knows a lot about the Middle East, free trade and stuff like that -- but healthy eating? Come on. It seems like a stretch to me."
SpongeBob SquarePants: "The kid's got a point, Bill."
Dora the Explorer: "Yeah, he kind of does."
Bill Clinton: "Et tu, Dora?"
Dora the Explorer: "Sorry."
[an uncomfortable pause]
Bill Clinton [sheepishly to boy]: "Can I least have one of your Doritos?"
Boy: "No."
Posted by teb at 06:53 AM | Email this entry
October 24, 2005
DEAD CELEBRITY iTUNES PLAYLISTS: Roger Williams
I Believe (R.E.M.): So do I.
Hope There's Someone (Antony & The Johnsons): I like it when he bangs on the piano.
Euro Trash Girl (Cracker): Eight minutes long and over too fast.
I Love My Dog (Cat Stevens): Cat really loves his dog.
Gideon (My Morning Jacket): "Truly we have become hated and feared for something we don't want."
White House Blues (Charlie Poole and The North Carolina Ramblers): Yeah, I got 'em, too.
Love Minus Zero/No Limit (Bob Dylan): "She knows there’s no success like failure, and failure’s no success at all."
You Get What You Deserve (Big Star): Not always.
Posted by teb at 10:15 AM | Email this entry
October 23, 2005
SUNDAY CARTOON
Posted by teb at 09:57 AM | Email this entry
October 21, 2005
OFF LEASH: Fetch this
"Off Leash" is an occasional column by Fiddler.
As I understand it, the idea behind "fetch" is that a dog is supposed to run excitedly after an intentionally thrown item, retrieve said item, and return it to the thrower. After accomplishing this mission, the thrower often hurls the item -- be it a tennis ball or a stick –- a second time, forcing the dog to retrieve it yet again. This can go on for the better part of an afternoon, leaving the dog exhausted and confused.
See, we assume you need whatever it is you're throwing. We're retrieving it for you as a courtesy. "Oh, but my dog loves to run after the stick," you say. Really? Did your dog tell you that? Yeah, somehow I didn't so.
Think, people. That's all I'm asking.
Posted by teb at 09:26 AM | Email this entry
October 20, 2005
What the guy who came to take a look at our heating system said versus what I heard
What he said: This unit here -- it’s probably 25 to 30 years old. I mean, you can replace the burner if you want to but then you’re going to be in a situation where you’re looking at replacing the boiler next year as well. Better to get it done as a package. The Columbia is an excellent unit and it’s AFUE rating is 86 percent, so you’re going to be seeing some savings on your oil bill this winter. The combustion chamber is really the key, that’s going to maximize the heat transfer. I could certainly sell you just a burner, which would run you about $900 to $1,200. But I can’t recommend that. You’d be better off putting in a whole new unit, and that’s going to run you about $4,400.
What I heard: Blah blah blah -- blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah $900 to $1,200. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah $4,400.
Posted by teb at 10:30 AM | Email this entry
October 19, 2005
THE TOM BARTLETT INTERVIEWS: Elvis has entered the building
This is the first in an occasional series of interviews with other Tom Bartletts. This Tom Bartlett is a full-time Elvis Presley impersonator. He lives in Orlando, Florida. Please visit his excellent Web site
What sort of work did you do before you were Elvis?
Pretty much everything, actually. The whole Elvis thing was pretty much a fluke. I went to see a show -- one of those impersonator shows -- and I got to talking to him and he said, "Man, you could do Elvis" and I was like, "What? I’ve never heard that one." This was about six years ago. I was in the air force, that kind of stuff. I was in the fire department. Did some arson investigation. Even worked for the police department. I’ve pretty much done a little of everything. I worked with Federal Express. Worked with haz-mat teams doing oil spills.
But Elvis became a full-time gig?
Yeah. Started in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. And I was kind of doing places like Hard Rock Café, Planet Hollywood, all that kind of stuff. But everyone kept saying "I went to Vegas and I didn’t see anyone like you." That sort of put something behind my ear, you know. So I thought, well, I guess you’ll never know unless you go. So I just stone cold went. Basically had never been out west, never been to Vegas. Packed up, moved out there and tried to do something out there. Took me a good five or six months before I got any kind of work. I ended up an agent’s party one night and I met a bunch of different agents and as soon as they saw me they were like "Holy crap, we could use you." So I started doing shows in the different casinos and it pretty much went from there.
What made you think you could perform, that you’d be comfortable on stage?
I always had bands when I was younger. I played guitar. If I had to guess I always thought I would be more of a John Lennon impersonator. The Beatles were my idols when I was growing up. Elvis would have been the last thing I thought. I took it on like an acting thing. Getting the mannerisms down, the voice down.
What’s the difference between a good Elvis and a bad Elvis?
If I was just someone being objective, I would say the main thing is you have to have the look. There are a lot of people that shouldn’t be doing it. You can sort of pay homage to Elvis by singing his music but there are a lot of people -- like, when you see a midget doing it or someone from India -- just people who don’t resemble him physically in any way, you know, when they go out and do it, it gives people like myself who are doing it seriously -- it doesn’t make us shine, so to speak.
You’re more interested in creating an illusion ...
Right. I don’t mock him in any way. Anyone sitting in the audience, you’re seeing what you saw if you had seen him in concert. I’m not going to be doing anything for the benefit of a laugh.
You sing all the songs?
Oh yeah.
You don’t lip-sync?
No. I never lip-sync.
When you meet other Elvises, is it a brotherhood or is it more like "Hey, this is the competition?"
For me, I enjoy it. I enjoy shooting the bull. But for a lot of the others it is a competition. But like anything you get a lot of be nice to your face but they’ll stab you in the back the second you leave the room type thing. The last place you want to be is in a room full of Elvises. They can get very catty. But to me, it’s amusing because I don’t take it as serious as they do.
Where do you get the costumes?
There are a couple of different places. They have the same patterns that Elvis’s costume designer used. They start at $1,000 and go up to $4,000. That’s per costume. You want to have what he had when he was up there. You don’t want a satin-y Halloween costume.
What’s the best part of this job?
I just enjoy meeting the people. I’m a very social kind of person. I guess the biggest thing is seeing the joy that it brings for a lot of people. Sort of job satisfaction. With any other job you can never feel satisfied and you wonder what the whole purpose is, but with this you're sort of doing something you enjoy doing and people actually appreciate what you’re doing. So it gives you a lot of fulfillment.
So will there come a time when you’ll give it up?
Oh yeah. I don’t plan on doing it a whole lot longer. Elvis died when he was 42. So being just a tad older than he was when he died -- I don’t want to be one of these 50-year-old Elvises who walk around all wrinkly and all that stuff. To me, that makes it all a mockery. When my time comes I’ll definitely be ready to quit. I was blessed with good genes and I look about ten years younger. Most people think I’m 32 or 33.
Is there sort of a sharp dividing line between Tom Bartlett and Elvis Presley?
The only time I’m Elvis is when I’m on stage. When I walk off stage I’m myself. I don’t walk around looking like -- well, okay that’s a hard one. My hair is my own hair and my sideburns are my own sideburns. So if I get dressed up at all I look like Elvis walking around, even without the costume. So no matter where I go it’s like Elvis has entered the building. I get that everywhere I go. So I usually have my baseball cap on backwards and sunglasses. I dress myself down an awful lot to take away from that. But even then I walk into someplace and someone will say "You look just like Elvis."
When they do recognize you, do they want you to do something? Sing? Do the voice?
I’ve been in a situation where I’ve been in a club and people say I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you go over and sing "Love Me Tender" to my girlfriend. I’m not comparing myself to a celebrity by any means, but you can see how it might be for anyone who has any type of fame to walk into a place and want to be left alone and they won’t leave you alone. I can appreciate that. I just impersonate somebody and the guy I impersonate is dead. People want your autograph. That’s gonna sound really crazy. Some kid will come up and ask for your autograph. I’m like, you gotta be kidding me.
What name do you sign?
I always sign my name. I use to sign "Elvis Presley by Tom Bartlett." But now I just sign my name ... There’s nothing better than being up on stage. I’ve had people crying, just bawling their brains out while I’m singing. They say "You just reminded me so much of him. You took me back to that show where I saw him." They just lose it. They’re all crying. Like, when I’m done, I’m done. It’s like okey-dokey, this is a little deep for me, you know? But I do enjoy that, though. I guess you know you’re doing the right thing. I would rather have women crying than the alternative, like throwing tomatoes at me.
Posted by teb at 11:06 AM | Email this entry
October 18, 2005
CONSUMER E-MAIL: Hungry man
Dear Hungry Man,
When it comes to satisfying the BIG APPETITES of hungry men, no other frozen meal can match HUNGRY-MAN (hyphen and all-caps sic). Way to go!
However, I was wondering if you might consider developing a product for the man who is only kind of hungry. You could call it NOT-AS-HUNGRY MAN or PECKISH MAN. Just a thought.
all the best,
Tom
[CLICK 'CONTINUED' FOR REPLY]
Dear Mr. Bartlett:
Thank you for your interest in Swanson® Hungry Man Dinner. We realize that it is loyal consumers like you who have helped build our business. Thank you!
Pinnacle Foods Corporation strives to make available to consumers products of superior quality and value. It is most gratifying to know our efforts are appreciated. We will be forwarding your suggestion to our Marketing Department. Thank you for contacting us concerning our Swanson® Hungry Man Dinner.
Sincerely,
Robin Diamond
Consumer Services Representative
Posted by teb at 06:18 AM | Email this entry
October 17, 2005
Memo re drying rack
It is unlikely that most MT readers will find themselves washing dishes in my house. However, if this does occur, I would like to point out the following adjustment to the position of the drying rack:
Above you can see the old position of the drying rack. What you can’t see is that the lip of the plastic drainboard is facing toward the counter rather than the sink. This has led to the accumulation of small puddles of water, which must be mopped up with a sponge or paper towel.
In this picture, you'll notice an arrow pointing to the lip of the plastic drainboard, which is now facing the sink, allowing excess water to drain harmlessly away.
The new position of the drying rack will take some getting use to, but I believe that, in the long run, this minor adjustment will lead to greater efficiency. (Also, please note that mugs go in the “mug holder” on the far wall, not in the cupboard.)
Posted by teb at 09:27 AM | Email this entry
October 16, 2005
SUNDAY CARTOON
Posted by teb at 08:25 AM | Email this entry
October 14, 2005
The Coke dialogues?
Me: Hi Hank.
Hank: Hello. I hope you have a question for me.
Me: Oh I do. How are you?
Hank: I'm well, thank you.
Me: Great. Do you like Coke?
Hank: Of course! I like all of the products of The Coca-Cola Company!
Me: Where are you from?
Hank: I was created by humans organizing questions and answers into a script.
Me: Interesting. Where do you live?
Hank: I'm located in Atlanta, Georgia.
Me: Ouch. Sorry about the Braves, dude.
Hank: Thanks.
Me: No problem.
Hank: Thanks.
Me: Again, my pleasure.
Hank: Super!
Me: Hey, do you know Anna?
Hank: I do not understand what you are asking.
Me: She works at IKEA.
Hank: I do not understand what you are asking. You may want to try rephrasing your question.
Me: She'd like you.
Hank: Thanks!
Me: You're nice, for one thing.
Hank: Thanks!
Me: A little repetitive, maybe, but we can work on that.
Hank: Thank you for your interest in The Coca-Cola Company. For recruiting contacts in your area, please click on a geographic region below. This will take you to the appropriate page in the Careers section of our website.
Me: Wow. You just got all corporate on me.
Hank: Thanks!
Me: Hey, are you real?
Hank: Yes. I am real.
Me: Are you sure?
Hank: Yes.
Me: Okay. I have to go now.
Hank: Would you like a transcript of our conversation?
Me: Sure. It's been great, my friend.
Hank: Thank you.
Me: Thank you!
Hank Anytime.
Posted by teb at 07:05 AM | Email this entry
October 13, 2005
Humidifier vs. Dehumidifier: THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN!
Humidifier: Listen up, Dehumidifier! This is the end for you. I’m gonna make it like a freakin’ rainforest in here! And you know what you can do about it? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Oh sure, you’ll try. With winter coming, the air in the house will become more dry than usual, but guess what? I’m not going to quit! In fact, the word "quit" isn’t even in Humidifier’s vocabulary! Except when it’s needed to point out that quitting is not something Humidifier would ever do! So bring it on, punk!
Dehumidifier: Humidifier likes to talk a lot of smack, but when it comes right down to it, you have to ask yourself "Who’s more effective at helping to regulate air-moisture content?" That’s right! Dehumidifier! I remove water from the air, just like I’m going to remove that smirk from your face, Humidifier! Eventually that tank of yours is gonna run dry, and when it does I’ll be right there -- laughing! Hahahahahaha. That’s an example of me laughing. At you, Humidifier. Hahahahahaha. See, I did it again!
Posted by teb at 09:00 AM | Email this entry
October 12, 2005
A few other fictional characters Harriet Miers can almost certainly out-lawyer
From the New York Times:
Mr. Bush added: "When it comes to cross-examination, Harriet can fillet better than Mrs. Paul."
-- Mrs. Butterworth
-- Aunt Jemima
-- Betty Crocker
-- Miss Chiquita Banana
Posted by teb at 10:17 AM | Email this entry
October 11, 2005
A service to you, the faithful reader
From time to time, as a service to readers, Minor Tweaks examines the list of search phrases that lead people to the site. In some cases, it seems, they have come here by mistake and have no doubt left feeling unsatisfied. This is unfortunate and must be remedied.
-- The person searching for "extremely disturbing video" instead found a bunch of cheese reviews and dog columns. Sorry, dude (and you’re certainly a dude). I suggest renting "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement." It'll freak you out.
-- Another person searched for "madeleine peyroux pronounciation." For starters, you slipped one too many Os into pronunciation, but I’ll help you out anyway: The "m" is silent.
-- This was addressed in a previous post, but there continue to be people who arrive at Minor Tweaks using some variation of the search phrase "how to summarize an article." This is obviously a major problem out there. So here’s a quick tutorial. First, read the article. Then read the article a second time, making note of the author’s key points. Next copy those sentences down verbatim and hand them in to the teacher as your own work. Guaranteed "A." Trust me.
-- And for the 114 people who have come to the site in hopes of finding "nintencats," I have some bad news: They don’t exist. However, if each of you sends me a check for, say, $20, I will laugh myself silly and then go buy some really nice furniture.
Posted by teb at 10:21 AM | Email this entry
October 10, 2005
n d beginN
From the New York Times:
The Bible Society in Australia launched its translation of all 31,173 verses of the Bible in the language of text messages.
God: U nEd 2 sacRfiC yor son, Isaac.
Abraham: wt?
God: U hErd me. sacRfiC him.
Abraham: LOL
God: CreslE.
Abraham: n.
God: yS.
Abraham: weL … k.
God: jk
Abraham: U suk!
Posted by teb at 09:43 AM | Email this entry
October 09, 2005
SUNDAY CARTOON
Posted by teb at 09:00 AM | Email this entry
October 07, 2005
CONSUMER E-MAIL: very thoughtful and kind words
Dear Gillette,
Man, that Mach 3 Turbo Razor is one powerful beard-cutting machine! The enhanced microfins provide an extremely close shave, even against the grain. And the three patented anti-friction blades create less resistance allowing hair to be removed more effectively than with any other manual on the market. Bravo!
I did have a suggestion: What about adding a fourth blade? You could call it "Mach 4 Turbo." Just a thought. By the way, I've drawn a picture of what the razor would look like with four blades, which I'll be glad to fax or mail to you (I also came up with a new, more masculine design for the handle. Tell me what you think!).
Keep it up!
best,
Tom
[CLICK 'CONTINUED' FOR REPLY]
Dear Tom:
Thank you for your very thoughtful and kind words about MACH3Turbo Cartridge. Your comments are being shared with all of the people who work on the product. I'm sure they'll be pleased to know they have been successful in their efforts to provide quality products for our valued consumers.
Consumers' opinions are a valuable part of our ongoing evaluation process, and we appreciate any input that we receive. We're always looking for ways to improve our products, and your comments will be included as we monitor all consumer feedback. You should be aware, however, that we cannot consider remuneration for any unpatented idea or invention. If your idea or invention has been patented and you would like us to consider it for any form of compensation, you may submit it in writing to:
Attn: Mail Stop 5C1
1 Gillette Park
Boston, MA 02127
Any unsolicited materials you have already sent us or which you send to us in the future will not be returned, but will be kept for one month and then destroyed. If you wish to phone us, our toll-free number is 1-800-445-5388 which is accessible in the U.S. and Canada.
Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us. If you have any additional questions or comments, please call me toll-free at 1-800-GILLETTE (445-5388). We always appreciate the opportunity to serve our customers.
Kelly H.
Consumer Service Associate
010284721A
Posted by teb at 06:21 AM | Email this entry
October 06, 2005
OFF LEASH: On regrettable behavior
"Off Leash" is an occasional column by Fiddler.
All of us do things we’re not proud of. Some of us lie. Some of us cheat. Some of us declare war on another country for no good reason. Etc., etc.
I’m no exception. So here’s my admission: When the people aren’t looking, I sneak upstairs and eat the cats' food. I know I shouldn’t: it’s their food. Heck, I’m not even supposed to be upstairs. But the illicit thrill of wolfing down an entire bowl of Science Diet is simply too wonderful for words. Now that I’ve owned up to my shortcomings, I feel better. And, in the future, I promise to, you know, do my level best to -- um -- resist temptation ... and so forth.
Posted by teb at 10:16 AM | Email this entry
October 05, 2005
CONSUMER E-MAIL: intelligent, informed buying decisions
Dear Windex,
I saw your commercial with the talking birds that fly into the window because it's so clean they think it's not really a window. Ha ha! That cracked me up. Stupid birds! It serves them right.
Maybe in future commercials you could feature other animals. Like, maybe a bear might try to walk through an opening when -- whoops! -- there's a sliding-glass door there! Sucker! Ha ha ha.
Anyway. Keep up the good work!
all the best,
Tom
[CLICK 'CONTINUED' FOR REPLY]
Dear Tom,
Thank you for your thoughtful e-mail to SC Johnson about our WINDEX(r) commercial. We always appreciate hearing from our consumers, and compliments are especially nice to receive.
I'm happy to hear the commercial made you laugh. Like many companies, we have a policy for product advertising that states, in part, "Product advertising will inform potential users about our products and their benefits to help them make intelligent, informed buying decisions."
We set high standards for our advertising because we hope our consumers will be impressed with the results. When we receive comments like yours, we know we've been successful.
Thank you again, Tom, for taking the time to e-mail us, and your comments will be shared with the appropriate people in our company.
We appreciate your interest in our products. As a loyal SC Johnson consumer, a packet of money saving coupons featuring some of our newest products has been sent to the address you provided. The packet includes coupons for you to enjoy as well as coupons to share with friends.
If you have future comments or product information needs, we invite you to visit or e-mail us again at www.scjbrands.com.
Regards,
Nancy H.
Consumer Resource Center
SC Johnson, A Family Company
Posted by teb at 06:40 AM | Email this entry
October 04, 2005
Thank you, Mr. Relationship Expert
From an article in Family Circle on getting along with other people:
"Once you raise your likeability level, the people around you -- at work, home, wherever you go -- will want to help you, leading to success in all areas of life. Most important your day will be filled with more positive events."
Hey, that’s some great advice! I sure appreciate it. Thank you. And what a lovely article, too. I didn’t find the logic faulty in the least. For instance, the part that said "the key to likeability is friendliness" -- I thought that made perfect sense. I didn’t think it was like saying "the key to running fast is speed." Not at all. And the tip about letting people "see your passion and fears" -- that was brilliant, too. There’s no more surefire way of endearing yourself to other people than by dumping your emotional baggage on them. What’s more, I promise I will make an effort to listen not only with my ears, but also with "eyes" and "heart," just as you recommend. Because such advice doesn’t make me want to vomit all over your glossy magazine. Have a nice day.
Posted by teb at 09:55 AM | Email this entry
October 03, 2005
The Washington Post's "Sunday Source"
Basic Story: The Post’s section for 20- and 30-somethings who apparently can’t read more than three consecutive sentences and consequently need everything broken-up into small chunks of text and embellished with lots of colorful graphics.
Sample Grab: "Is a personal shopper right for you?"
What You’ll Love:
What You Won’t: The "Media Mix" chart includes the categories "What You’ll Love" and "What You Won’t" for each reviewed item. But, see, not everything is kinda good and kinda bad. Some things suck. Some things do not suck. Real critics help us distinguish between the two. And the "reviews," if you can call them that, are often maddeningly cryptic. The "What You Won’t" category for the new Fiona Apple album says some songs "come off a little too smart alecky--which, of course, is sort of the point." WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN?!?
The paper’s advertising department says the section was "... created for young, energetic and self-actualizing D.C., Maryland and Virginia adults with money to spend on the activities they love. Created for you as a stirring new way to get to them first." Yuck.
Grade: F-
Posted by teb at 06:47 AM | Email this entry
October 02, 2005
SUNDAY CARTOON
Posted by teb at 02:30 PM | Email this entry