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October 25, 2005
SpongeBill SquarePants
From the Associated Press:
"Bill Clinton is teaming with SpongeBob SquarePants and Dora the Explorer in a campaign to nudge kids to eat healthy foods and to get up off the couch and move, the former president and Nickelodeon television executives announced Thursday."
[Scene: An eight-year-old boy is sitting on a sofa watching
television. He is holding a large Coke and a bag of Doritos.]
Boy: "Hey mom! I want more chips!"
Mom [from the other room]: "Why not have something healthy, like a carrot or some grapes?"
Boy: "I don't want anything healthy. I want more chips!"
[Suddenly Bill Clinton, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Dora the Explorer appear.]
Boy: "Hey, who are you?"
SpongeBob SquarePants: "Hi there! I'm ..."
Boy: "I know who you are. Who's the old guy?"
Bill Clinton [laughing heartily]: "I'm Bill Clinton. And I'm here to teach you about --"
Boy: "Who?"
Bill Clinton: "Clinton. Former president. I left office in 2000."
Boy: "I was, like, three then. Tell me what you're known for."
Bill Clinton: "I'd love to. But right now we're talking about healthy
eating. Did you know --"
Boy: "Wait, weren't you always sneaking off for cheeseburgers?"
Bill Clinton: "I went jogging, too."
Boy: "Jogging to Burger King."
SpongeBob SquarePants: "Hey now! Let's all be nice! What about -- "
Bill Clinton: "Hold on, SpongeBob. If Jimmy here --"
Boy: "Ethan."
Bill Clinton: "If Ethan here has something to say, then he should say it."
Boy: "I'm just wondering if Bill Clinton is the best possible spokesman for this particular cause. I'm sure he knows a lot about the Middle East, free trade and stuff like that -- but healthy eating? Come on. It seems like a stretch to me."
SpongeBob SquarePants: "The kid's got a point, Bill."
Dora the Explorer: "Yeah, he kind of does."
Bill Clinton: "Et tu, Dora?"
Dora the Explorer: "Sorry."
[an uncomfortable pause]
Bill Clinton [sheepishly to boy]: "Can I least have one of your Doritos?"
Boy: "No."
Posted by teb at October 25, 2005 06:53 AM