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November 24, 2005
What Thanksgiving Day parade anchors are thinking
Al Roker
What he's saying: "Hey, look! It’s Tommy Tune!"
What he’s thinking: I could have sworn Tommy Tune was dead. He looks pretty good, though. Of course who can tell with all that makeup. And of course he’s had work done. He’s gotta be like, what, 95? Geez. I could go for a turkey sandwich right about now. Actually, I could go for about 10 turkey sandwiches. I wish I hadn’t had my stomach stapled. Also, I hate Katie.
Katie Couric
What she's saying: "Chicken Little is the size of a seven-story building!"
What she’s thinking: I am so rich. Man, I am rich. No one is richer than me. Okay, some people are richer than me but not very many. I am so rich. Man, am I rich.
Matt Lauer
What he’s saying: "Super Grover is longer than a New York subway car!"
What he’s thinking: Did I just say that? I’m better than this crap. I am a serious journalist. I ask tough questions. I have Ted Koppel-like gravitas. Maybe I should stop dyeing my hair and just let it go gray. It seemed to work for Anderson Cooper. I hate that guy. I hate Katie, too, even more than Al does. Wait: How do I know what Al's thinking? That's weird. Well, whatever.
Posted by teb at November 24, 2005 11:18 AM