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January 25, 2006
OFF LEASH: To the dogs in my neighborhood
"Off Leash" is an occasional column by Fiddler. Past columns can be found here.
Black dog w/ fluffy tail: Seriously, what is your deal? Could you be any more spastic or angry? I don’t think so, but go ahead and try.
Beautiful, Lassie-type dog: Yeah, you're gorgeous. But what's with the attitude? It's not like you groomed yourself.
Enormous dog behind chain-link fence: I know you're bigger than me. I know you believe I'm in your "territory" when I pass by your yard. I realize this is disturbing to you. But guess what? There's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Little white dog: Take a deep breath. There. Don't you feel better? I suggest taking up yoga or something before you give yourself a heart attack.
Really fat dog who barely moves: Are you alright? You don't look so good.
Teddy, the dog who is roughly my size: I've got nothing but love for you, my friend. You're always up for a romp, your tail is forever wagging, and you are crazy (in a good way). Never change.
Posted by teb at January 25, 2006 10:14 AM