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March 30, 2006
Poor Jack
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer on the sentencing of former lobbyist Jack Abramoff:
"I am much chastened and profoundly remorseful," Abramoff said. "I can only hope that the almighty and those whom I have wronged will forgive me my trespasses."
He added: "And by 'trespasses' I mean a series of jaw-droppingly brazen crimes that took place over the course of many years and which, of course, I would still be committing had I not been caught. You'll also notice that I allude to the Bible in my public statements of contrition: This is a time-honored strategy and it lends an air of respectability to otherwise shameful admissions. It 'classes up' a confession. It's also a coded shout-out to people of faith everywhere. I'm hoping that none of them think 'Hey, where was all this God talk when he was raking in millions by bribing journalists and government officials, screwing over Indian tribes, and generally doing everything he could to accumulate wealth and power regardless of whom he hurt?' But at least I'm not an atheist! That's something, isn't it? For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. See, I did it again! Another Bible verse! Never mind that deception and double-dealing have long been my stock-in-trade. Never mind that my willingness to cooperate with prosecutors also helps shorten my prison sentence. I am completely sincere. I am a new man. God bless you all."
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Also, have you ever wondered if Tom Bartlett has opinions on various brands of toasters? Well, wonder no more.
Posted by teb at March 30, 2006 11:41 AM