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April 06, 2006
How to enliven an extremely dull anecdote by employing creative literary techniques (part two)
Use multiple exclamation points and random underlining:
I recently bought some tomato cages for my garden!!! But I forgot about the cages I bought last year!!! Now I have way too many tomato cages!!! What will I do with them all?!?! I guess I could return them, but they don't cost that much!!! I'll probably just keep them!!!
Add unnecessary adjectives and adverbs:
I recently bought some amazing tomato cages for my terrific garden. But I totally forgot about the super cages I purchased suddenly last year. What ever will I do with them all? I guess I could return them angrily, but they don't cost that damn much. I'll probably just quietly keep them forever.
Lie:
I recently bought some tomato cages for my garden. But I forgot about the cages I bought last year. Now I have way too many tomato cages. So I entered the extra tomato cages in a prestigious art show where they won numerous accolades and sold for a ridiculous sum. Apparently I am to tomato cages what Marcel Duchamp was to the urinal. How about that?
Posted by teb at April 6, 2006 11:09 AM