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May 03, 2006
A brief dialogue between THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES and THE REAL ME
THE REAL ME: Oh crap. What is this?
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: It's called "The Story of the Weeping Camel."
THE REAL ME: Sounds ... great
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: In fact, it is great. It's about a family of camel herders in Mongolia's Gobi region. It's supposed to be excellent. One of your -- our, my –- friends recommended it.
THE REAL ME: Well, I don't have time to watch it.
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: And yet you do have time to watch back-to-back episodes of "Cops"?
THE REAL ME: Why can't we -- I -- get something on Netflix that we -- I -- actually want to see?
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: Like episodes of "South Park"?
THE REAL ME: Yes. Like episodes of "South Park."
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: You've seen every episode of "South Park." Most of them multiple times.
THE REAL ME: They stand up to repeated viewings. Like the one in which Cartman pretends to be a police officer ...
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: Stop. Listen to yourself, would you? You're 31 years old. I think you can sit down and watch a highly recommended movie that will open your mind to different points of view and broaden your cultural horizons.
THE REAL ME: "Broaden your cultural horizons"? Who are you?
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: I'm you.
THE REAL ME: No, you're not. I would never say that.
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: Can we just watch the movie, please?
THE REAL ME: Fine. But first I’m going to grab a bag of Doritos.
THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES: Wouldn’t you like an apple instead?
THE REAL ME: Screw you. Me. Whatever.
Posted by teb at May 3, 2006 09:59 AM