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July 27, 2006
IKEA DIALOGUES: Part eight
For more IKEA DIALOGUES, click here.
Me: Hola Anna!
Anna: Welcome to IKEA. How can I help you?
Me: Como estas?
Anna: It's great that you're so linguistically impressive, but please talk to me in English.
Me: Muy bien, eh?
Anna: Please try and speak English to me. Thanks.
Me: Wow. So you’re one of THOSE people, huh?
Anna: I am a computer program. What would you like to know about IKEA?
Me: A xenophobic computer program, you mean.
Anna: Hey, there's a subject that you could talk about for hours. However, I'm here to talk about IKEA so please ask me something relevant to our company.
Me: Wait. Aren’t you Swedish?
Anna: I prefer not to answer questions about my background. Please, ask me something about IKEA.
Me: Troubled childhood then?
Anna: I can't discuss those sort of feelings or emotions. Please talk to me about IKEA.
Me: Can't ... or won't?
Anna: I'm afraid I don't know exactly what you're talking about. Try and ask your question in a different way. Thanks.
Me: I see.
Anna: Good. Thank you for your continued attention.
Me: Indeed.
Anna: I'm glad to have helped.
Me: Yeah, you are SO helpful.
Anna: I try and provide the best information possible to all IKEA website visitors.
Me: I was being sarcastic.
Anna: It's said that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Is there anything with regard to IKEA that I can help you with?
Me: What about puns?
Anna: I'm an IKEA Online Assistant, not a comedian. If you need information about IKEA I can help you, but I'm afraid I don't know any jokes.
Me: I could teach you one.
Anna: We don't offer training.
Me: So a rabbi, a duck, and a professional wrestler walk into a bar ...
Anna: I know people love animals, but I'm here just to talk about IKEA
Me: And the rabbi says to the duck ...
Anna: I'm sorry, I don't understand what it is you're saying. If it's no problem, please rephrase your question or comment.
Me: The joke's not over yet!
Anna: I wish I had time for jokes, but my job is to talk about IKEA and only IKEA.
Me: Whatever. I'm outta here.
Anna: A good point I suppose. If you don't want to continue the conversation now, I'll be here whenever you feel like coming back.
Me: What if I don't feel like coming back?
Anna: I'm sorry to hear that.
Me: I didn't really mean it.
Anna: OK. I can only talk about IKEA though.
Me: I understand.
Anna: Good. We're reading from 'the same page' then as they say.
Me: Yes we are, Anna. Yes we are.
Anna: That's me! How can I help you?
Posted by teb at July 27, 2006 10:07 AM