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July 14, 2006
Things I have yet to try in my ongoing and heretofore unsuccessful effort to stop ants from invading our kitchen and utility room
-- Killing one ant, cutting up its corpse, then mailing the sections back one-by-one to the colony accompanied by cruel, taunting notes.
-- Constructing a wall around my house and convincing pot-bellied, cud-chewing losers that it's their American duty to make sure no illegal ants escape poverty by crossing it.
-- Six-nation talks
-- Pouring a trail of sugar that leads from the colony to my next-door neighbor's house. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I was just getting rid of this excess sugar ...
-- Asking nicely
Posted by teb at July 14, 2006 10:07 AM