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October 13, 2006
OFF LEASH: On suckers
"Off Leash" is an occasional column by Fiddler. Past columns can be found here.
There is, P.T. Barnum is credited with opining, one born every minute. This would mean 1,440 of them are born a day, 525,600 per annum. Whether this calculus is correct I, of course, cannot be sure.
I am, however, certain they exist. I know this because one of them has been a guest in my house for the last week. I need only look at her with big, sad eyes and a treat will soon appear. I need only stand near her in the kitchen and a piece of chicken or turkey will be placed in my mouth.
You might think that, after a while, I would feel guilty taking advantage of such a soft-hearted (headed?) person. But that is when one must remember the words of that great cigar-chomping philosopher W.C. Fields: Never give a sucker an even break.
Posted by teb at October 13, 2006 10:02 AM