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June 21, 2007
IKEA DIALOGUES: Part eleven
For more IKEA DIALOGUES, click here.
Me: Anna Banana! What's happening?
Anna: I'm fine, thank you for asking.
Me: Right. So, in the past I've asked you a lot of inane questions.
Anna: I am not designed to understand or feel insults, although my knowledge will surely improve after this conversation. What would you like to know about IKEA?
Me: And you -- as you've just demonstrated -- have responded with non sequiturs.
Anna: You can find all products on the HÅVE product line in the page I am now opening for you.
Me: But we're actually thinking of buying kitchen cabinets from you. For real.
Anna: On this page you will find valuable information about kitchen cabinets. Would you like me to show you the kitchen cabinet products page?
Me: Yes, I would.
Anna: Well, if you say so.
Me: I feel like we're really communicating, you know?
Anna: I can see that. Well, as long as you keep talking, I'll keep responding.
Me: Really?
Anna: I'm serious about my job and that's to help people find out more about IKEA and our products and services.
Me: I'm serious too. Like a heart attack.
Anna: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Now, let's talk about IKEA.
Me: Are you referencing the Edwin Starr song "War"?
Anna: This is a very delicate area, so I'd rather not talk about this sort of thing. Please ask me something about IKEA instead.
Me: I'm sorry.
Anna: Of course. Thank you.
Me: We're not making much of a connection.
Anna: For which product would you like to know what kind of materials it is made from?
Me: I'm getting tired of this.
Anna: Don't let me stop you. I'll be right here whenever you need to talk to me again.
Me: Honest?
Anna: Honesty is the best policy.
Me: Right on, Anna. Right on.
Anna: That's me! How can I help you?
Posted by teb at June 21, 2007 01:12 PM