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July 26, 2007
And now a word from Old Man Bartlett
Hey, you kids, stop throwing stuff in my yard!
[shakes fist in air]
I've recently picked up a Vitamin Water bottle, a pudding container, and a cigarette package. Not to mention a condom wrapper. What are you kids doing? Driving around in your cars, drinking flavored water, eating pudding, smoking and engaging in premarital relations all at the same time? That's not safe!
[tugs at too-high pants]
Back in my day we didn't even have Vitamin Water -- or premarital relations, for that matter. And when we ate pudding we did so in the privacy of our own homes, not out on the streets like hooligans.
[starts coughing]
You better not let me catch you! Believe me, you'll regret it!
[coughing turns to wheezing]
What kind of name is 50 Cent anyway? Does he have a little brother named Quarter? Answer me that!
[Walks slowly back inside house, muttering to self]
Stupid kids.
Posted by teb at July 26, 2007 11:48 AM