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October 17, 2007
How to get dressed in the morning
1. Wake up
2. Go back to sleep
3. Wake up again, kind of. Lie there for a couple of minutes, eyes half-closed, mouth half-open.
4. Get up.
5. Feel around in closet for pants. Don't turn light on because that could awaken Offspring. If Offspring awakens, he will be upset, which will awaken Spouse.
6. When pants have been acquired, feel around for a shirt. Is that the blue one? The black one? It's hard to tell.
7. Once in the hallway, realize you've grabbed the green shirt, which you hate. Consider going back into bedroom. Stand there for a minute, weighing the possible fallout (waking everyone up) against the alternative (wearing a hated shirt you really should just give away).
8. Decide you don't care about the shirt. It's fine.
9. Look down at your sockless feet.
10. Curse softly.
Posted by teb at October 17, 2007 10:19 AM