November 15, 2007
Yet more lines that I've excised from my forthcoming novel
As the light faded from the horizon, the robot cowboys sang together in eerily perfect harmony.
"Granola," she mused.
The road was long and twisty, like the handlebar mustache of former Oakland A's relief pitcher Rollie Fingers.
The alarm sounded and Philip emerged from beneath the bed, clad only in a headband, a single red sock, and clutching a dog-earred Bible to his chest.
"Senators," he hollered, "let's dance!"
Posted by teb at 11:40 AM | Email this entry
August 08, 2007
Even more lines that I've excised from my forthcoming novel
He carefully placed the delicate, golden crown on the mouse's tiny, furry head.
Carl knew they had to pedal faster if they were going to make it to Pittsburgh in time for snacks.
Her fingers were like fish sticks, kind of.
Elvis, sassafras, tongs -- yes, things were starting to add up.
"Gentlemen," he bellowed, "let's make toast!"
Posted by teb at 08:52 AM | Email this entry
February 19, 2007
Even more lines that I've excised from my forthcoming novel
As the evening wore on, the dwarves grew peckish.
"Well," he said, taking another bite of pie, "at least we're not stranded on the moon anymore."
Their romantic embrace was interrupted by the sound of a cat puking vigorously.
The sun set over the ocean, like a very powerful flashlight slowly being lowered behind an extremely large body of water.
Oh no, he thought, this isn't toothpaste.
Posted by teb at 12:41 PM | Email this entry
December 11, 2006
Yet more lines I've excised from my forthcoming novel
The priest set down the sandwich, grunted decisively, and skipped off.
"Spackle," the mother whispered, as she cradled her sleeping newborn. "We shall call you Spackle."
Her hair smelled of cinnamon and lies.
The river was wide and the horses extremely small.
As he stood there naked atop the shed, Harold couldn't help but wonder if he'd been tricked.
Posted by teb at 10:52 AM | Email this entry
August 17, 2006
Still more lines I've excised from my forthcoming novel
A hush came over the natatorium as Nate removed his towel with a matador's angry flourish.
Electric donuts, he thought. Of course!
He sniffed the air, tentatively at first, and then with abandon, tilting his head back, closing his eyes and cupping his hands to his nostrils.
That sound could only mean one thing: Someone had dropped an enormous box of bells.
"Well," he sighed, stroking the dolphin absentmindedly, "I guess it's time for lunch."
Posted by teb at 12:09 PM | Email this entry
June 27, 2006
Yet more lines I've excised from my forthcoming novel
These discount slacks aren't working out, Louis realized.
"Hmm," he exclaimed furiously.
The ground hogs circled cautiously like large, furry, wingless, earth-dwelling birds.
And so the mysterious whistler met his violent and well-deserved fate.
"Okey" -- he struggled for just the right word -- "doke."
Posted by teb at 10:34 AM | Email this entry
August 23, 2005
A few lines I've excised from my novel-in-progress
"No more Twizzlers for me," exclaimed the former senator from Nebraska.
Hiking boots, superglue, a bag of nickels -- yup, that was everything.
Caterpillars? No, he thought, that was impossible. Or was it?
"Golly," Frank said suspiciously.
The fabric was itchy; it reminded him of death.
Posted by teb at 11:25 AM | Email this entry